Hello lovely,

I used to have so much pride in saying I was a perfectionist.

"It has to be perfect otherwise I won't let anyone read my work..."
"I don't do things half-half, it's either perfect or nothing"
"If I can't do it perfectly, then I'm not even going to try"

If I could have a quick conversation with my old self, I would tell her to fuck off. How exhausting.

Thinking this way is exhausting.

It is limiting.

It doesn't allow space for personal growth.

It's an all or nothing mentality.

It is bred from insecurity.

I have a further confession. I used to want to be better than everyone else. I used to want to be seen as better.
I compared myself to everyone and really struggled with making 'mistakes', or people thinking I didn't know enough.

I dealt with this as the time by throwing myself into constant study. Degree after degree, a diploma or short course here or there.
I hid behind my qualifications.

It wasn't until a previous boss of mine told me that I was my worst enemy. I wasn't happy. But she was right.
Slowly slowly I learnt a few things:

Perfection doesn't exist. It's all relative for each individual.
You can't please everyone. So please yourself.
Done is better that 'perfect'. If you are waiting to be completely 'finished and polished' to start or even launch something, you will never do it.

So you think you may be struggling with 'perfectionism' - here's how it may be presenting for you:

feeling like you fail at everything you try
never feeling 'ready'
you are a very good procrastinator
you don't start of finish things because it may not be 'perfect' enough
you crave loads of approval
you are critical of yourself AND others

If any of these resonate with you, and you need some guidance to try to let it all go.......then let's get in touch. I would love to help you.

Bianca xxx